Perfunctory Essay On Gayness
Since I recently posted an old poem of mine that uses the word "gay" I figured I should say a few words in case some you innocent youngsters out there might get the wrong idea.
You may not know it, but the word "gay' is actually an old-fashioned word of Middle English, French and possibly Germanic origins.
Not so many years ago (at least to an old-timer), to be "gay" meant that you were of a generally joyful or lighthearted disposition. It also could mean that something was bright or lively, such as a colorful attire or a sunny room.
So basically it was a fun word.
When the old theme song promised you that when you're with the Flintstones you'll have "a gay old time" you never thought it meant getting down and dirty with Fred and Barney (or if you're a woman, with Betty and Wilma) did you?
Maybe you did. I don't know about you people these days.
Anyway, at some point someone who was undoubtedly a complete and total dick (sorry if you're a decent guy whose name just so happens to be dick, but if you're still hung up on that one by now then you should probably just change your stupid name) decided that it would make a funny derogatory term for homosexuals. And since then the homosexual community has (not unjustly) adopted the term as a kind of badge of honor, sort of like what happened with "the n-word," which as a man whose skin tone happens to be on the lighter side I am supposedly no longer allowed to say-although admittedly that word does have much darker connotations.
Pun intended.
So anyway, now whenever anybody hears the word "gay" the first thing thing they think of is "homosexual".
Thus, through a process which was almost entirely our own stupid fault, the "straight" (there's another misused and abused word for you) community has lost ourselves a perfectly good word which used to mean something quite positive and fun for everyone, regardless of their sexual orientation.
And so it goes with languages I suppose.
However, not one to suffer such foolishness lightly, I am hereby reclaiming that word for myself and anybody else who cares to join me.
So now any time someone asks me if I am "gay," I will proudly proclaim that, "Yes. I am a gay heterosexual!"
Now I fully realize that the duller or more ignorant folks out there will never quite be able to figure out exactly what I mean by that, but let them think whatever they will nonetheless.
Because the fact remains that I am indeed a gay heterosexual.
And do you know what?
No matter what anybody says that's perfectly ok.
© 2018 Randy Bone